Remember the days when there were only 10 or 11 comic strip writers in the entire world? And none of them were funny. Man, those were the days.
This morning I woke up to an email alerting me that Monday's comic resembled a different comic on the internet. To be fair, they were nearly identical. So that sucks. Anyway, fair is fair - I removed the comic. But I really wanted to take credit for that one!!! I remember reading about the same thing happening to Dr. Seuss once, and I love Dr. Seuss. The way I see it is that this experience has made me more like Dr. Seuss.
Maybe I'll start searching the internet for jokes to rip off when I get to some obscene number of comics, like 1250 or so. But at 1241, I'm just not that desperate.
I'll try to get something up after work today.
Have a great Monday without me, guys. Sorry.
T-shirts! - July 27th, 2011
I'm bouncing some t-shirt ideas off you all, here. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated. Send me an email or something (email@example.com). After all, I don't want to pitch a WN shirt that nobody wants to wear.
Last week I showed off the BEST PALS shirt. It's the one in the previous post, where the two bffs are fake bumming. What does it all mean? Is it offensive? Is it brave? Is it hump day?
Today there's two more to contemplate. The first is loosely based on a comic where Satan asks a pickle in boots to call him "Stan." Hyok! The second is also based on a comic - a comic in which nobody believes in bigfoot. And by believes I mean nobody puts any faith in his abilities. In other words, he sucks at everything, and as a result he is feeling discouraged. HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!
Oh yeah, and follow me on twitter because I actually started tweeting regularly. It's the fastest way to get all the news you need.
Have a great weekend everyone!!!
T-shirt! - July 15th, 2011
I don't know if you guys remember the old days or not, but there was a time when we would come out with a new t-shirt every ten days or something ridiculous like that. Nowdays the t-shirts are fewer and far between. Why? Because people stopped buying them. Why? Because a few years ago everybody in America lost their job! So instead of spending money on useless crap like funny t-shirts, people started buying food and shelter. It's okay, I understand. Priorities and stuff? Anyhow, as a result of the lack of spending on dumb stuff, I was forced to go out and find real work in order to pay my own bills. Life is so unfair! And let me tell you, working full time as a high school teacher doesn't leave a lot of time for coming up with dumb new shirt designs.
Now that it's summer vacation, I'm trying to get this ball rolling again. As the first shirt since Christmas, I knew the newest design would have to be a gooder. I'm pretty sure I've accomplished this. I've posted this image to Twitter a few times, and it's had some very positive feedback. Nothing negative, in fact. I'm quite surprised. I guess, then, my question to all you out there is this: would you wear this shirt? And my second question to you out there is this: would you buy this shirt for your bff too, and then wear them on the same day?
It's not a done deal as of yet. I still have to get the approval of the good folks over at Topatoco. Sometimes the put the X on a shirt for one reason or another (vulgarity, lack of originality, or they're just pretty sure that it's only going to sell 5 units. All good reasons). But if you guys like it, I'll give it a go.
Have a great weekend everyone!!!
Alternate Endings - July 13th, 2011
If you've managed to find the totally irrelevant news section of this site, congratulations! You are in for a big treat!
When I was writing today's comic, I couldn't decide on an ending. I had a few in mind, but I narrowed it down to two ideas. Probably the others were better, but these were MY favorite. Below are two comics. The first is the original (the one that everybody sees when they go to the site) and the second is the alternate ending (the one that only a few very special people like you have managed to find). Was I right to go with the first one? I really don't know. I probably should have just changed the premise of the second comic slightly, and then released it as a totally different comic a week or two from now. Oh well.
By the way, for those of you who have bought the White Ninja books and have seen the fake alternate endings that we throw in as bonus material, this one is actually real. I actually had alternate endings in mind when writing this comic. Those other ones are added in months and years after writing the original comic.
Jim Davis - July 8th, 2011
So, I found myself chuckling today at the idea of a cat that hates Mondays. I'm looking at a cat right now, sprawled out on the hardwood floor, dying of heat. He's clearly not concerned about Monday. Was Jim Davis on to something? Is Garfield actually funny? Is it funny if a cat eats a fern or kills a spider? I'm pretty sure it would be funny if White Ninja ate a fern or killed a spider.
Anyhow, I know this isn't much for news, but it's been a slow day. So far the only thing that's happened that's newsworthy was when I turned on my air conditioner for the first time on account of it being 30 degrees Celsius here. I turned it off after about 15 minutes because I felt bad about destroying the earth. So now I'm sitting in my underwear, looking at a cat suffering from the heat. Maybe I'll put an ice cube in his water dish. Yeah, that would be pretty nice of me.
Here's a tribute to the luckiness Jim Davis. Even if you think don't find Garfield funny, I think you'll agree that Jim Davis is.
Back to school fashions - August 25, 2010
Let's talk back to school fashions for a minute, shall we?
It doesn't matter if you're starting third grade, high school, or college, there's one thing we all desire in our back to school fashions: attention. We need to stand out. School is a popularity contest, and before you can be popular, you first need to be noticed.
White Ninja is a professional when it comes to drawing attention to himself. Here he is below in a new shirt that screams "please, somebody, pay attention to me!" These new shirts will be on sale shortly at Topatoco. Make sure you order them early so you have them for your first day back at school.
If you've long since left your school days behind you for the professional world, worry not, we have a shirt for you. It's the same one! Can you believe it?
Are you feeling underappreciated in your work place? Well, what better way to get your boss to take notice of you? Buy this shirt - it's easier than asking for a promotion, and likely twice as effective.
Perhaps you've recently had a child with your significant other. Those babies are attention grubbing whores, aren't they? Solution: buy the shirt. (Kidding. Babies are lovely, everyone knows that. Buy one for the baby).
See? It's for everyone.
I was going to talk about genetically modified food and relate it to the "Ostrich People" of the Vadoma Tribe in Africa, but I was getting way out of my sphere of understanding, so I decided to leave it alone and not appear ignorant. My basic thesis, though, is that we're losing genetic diversity in our food, which is basically like saying our food is becoming incest. Yes? Is that fair? Then I was going to point out the "Ostrich People," who habitually inbreed within their tribe. A lot of them only have two toes on each foot. It's a dominate trait too, so eventually they'll all get it. I heard their teeth fall out in their sleep too. Watch the video and see.
What's going to happen when there's a killer bee epidemic and these people can't run fast enough to escape? (poor example of an epidemic, I know). Likewise, what will happen, Monsanto (company that is acquiring a monopoly in many crops with their genetically modified seeds), when the "killer bees" (metaphor) come for the soy beans? Genetic diversity is the key to survival, not Round-up Ready genetically modified seeds. That's like genetically modifying people to have only two toes, like the Ostrich People, to protect them from the Purple-MiddleThree-Toe-Torturing-Monster. What about the Purple-Every-Toe-Plus-Finger-and-Nose-Torturing-Monster? Or Type 1 Diabetes? I'm going to stop now before I stop making sense.
Pretty rock-solid logic, hey?
If you didn't understand it, don't worry, I just thought it would be nice for you to have something to read besides the sales pitch for the new White Ninja shirt.
Buy the shirt.
How to build a castle - April 8, 2010
It is me. Kent. I wanted to let you all know about some fun and spectacular new things:
But first! Have you heard of this: The Coral Castle in Florida? This crazy Latvian pseudo-scientist claimed to have discovered the secret of the Pyramids and then single-handedly built his own castle. As if that wasn't enough, he decided that regular rocks weren't good enough and instead used coral reefs resurrected from the ocean floor. He claimed to use anti-gravity and oppositely charged magnets. WTF.
Scott has recently become obsessed with anti-gravity. You see, his rent is being increased at his apartment, so he's decided to be a real adult and invest in a home. He's so grown-up. But why buy a home when you could build a frickin castle? Scott has been reading a lot about anti-gravity lately.
Where we live we don't have any coral reefs. We only have small rocks. He could probably just pick them up with his hands and carry them to wherever he needed them. Oh well. It's all he talks about. I'll keep you updated on his progress.
In other news, we are releasing a new book. A White Ninja book! Yes, this will the third book, thus completing the trilogy. Just like the Lord of the Rings. This book is called "White Ninja lives his life like a candle in the wind." It's already up on Amazon and it's only just $10.08! You can pre-order it now. I think I'm going to order myself a copy at that price, even though we get 2 or 3 complimentary books seeing as we are the authors.
In even more other news, did you know that Apple is going to take over the world pretty soon? I own four Apple computers, two iPods, and an iPhone. Why? I dunno. I'll probably get an iPad at some point even though the name makes me feel slightly gay for saying it? iPad. But that got me thinking. How friggin cool would it be to have a White Ninja App? Pretty friggin cool, I'd say.
Only problem is, even though I own all these fancy Apple products I have no idea how to make an App. Our Swedish friends at Little Gamers made an App and it's very cool. So, here is my proposal for any of you tech-computer-iPhone/iPad people: if you would be interested in creating a White Ninja App email us to discuss this. I'm ready to bow down and welcome Apple as our saviour of Planet Earth and you might as well too. Our email is this: thecreators (at) whiteninjacomics.com.
Ok that is all. All hail Apple.
Canadians love hockey. - March 29, 2010
If you didn?t know already, or forgot, Kent and I are citizens of a country called Canada. One thing you need to know about Canadians is that they love hockey (I don?t personally, but I hear that this is true). Apparently they love hockey so much that when they?re not watching hockey, they?re reading books about Hockey.
Theo Fleury, hockey-player extrodinaire, recently wrote a best seller about hockey?Hockey and sexual abuse. I hear it?s good. It may even become a book high school students read in Canadian high schools. Congratulations Mr. Fleury, your book is brave and helpful.
Now, how do I bring this up without sounding like a dickhead? I?m not sure if what I?m about to point out is an accident, or if it?s intentional, but it seems like too much of a coincidence for a book about sexual abuse. Look at Theo Fleury?s nose. Look at it. Seriously, just look.
Do you see what I?m getting at?
Don?t see it yet? Look harder.
Maybe I should blow it up and put it upside-down. Does that help?
Don?t see it? Well, what you should be seeing is a wiener. Look again. See it? Theo Fleury?s nose looks like a weewee.
Coincidence? I don?t know, man.
White Ninja turns 1000! - March 4, 2010
It's a big day coming up for White Ninja, so please read the following carefully.
This coming Monday, the 15th of March, 2010, marks the 1000th comic update on whiteninjacomics.com. By my count, that makes White Ninja 1000 years old! Wow! Can you imagine living to be 1000?! It's definitely an achievement worth celebrating, so that is what we are going to do.
Hopefully we will have some of White Ninja's famous internet friends share some of their best wishes with us on that day (completely unprovoked by us. Afterall, if they were really White Ninja's friends, they'd know when his birthday was. Especially his thousandth birthday).
If you're not famous, or even internet famous, we'd still like you to participate. We are asking you for gifts for dear old White Ninja. No, not REAL gifts. White Ninja is barely even a real person. We want your fake gifts. This is your chance to give the best gift ever, because since it's fake, your showing of love for White Ninja need not be limited by your puny salary/hourly wage/allowance.
If you would like to get White Ninja, say, a magnificent stallion, draw a picture of it, and send it on our way along with your name and location in the world! Or if you have a book at home that you really love - maybe it is about caring for brass instruments - and you'd like to gift it to White Ninja, take a picture of it and email it to us with your information. Or if you want to get him something really nice, like a diamond brooch, steal a picture from the Tiffany's website and write on it in MSpaint. Send to firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll make sure White Ninja gets it.
Your gifts for White Ninja will be set to music and featured in a slideshow so that everyone can see how many friends White Ninja has, where these friends are from, and how much they love him! Please, if White Ninja has made you smile ten times or more in the last five years, please consider taking three minutes to return the love by sending a fake gift. It would help make his 1000th birthday very special.
The next bit is unrelated to the top bit, but don't forget about the top bit after reading the bottom part.
A long, long time ago there was a White Ninja Wikipedia article. Then, one day, it was SPONTANEOUSLY BALETED! For no reason! Presumably by an evil sorcerer. Anyhow, we just realized that after all these years White Ninja is now on Wikipedia again. Check it out:
As you can see, the encycopediest did an excellent job, but it is rather short and missing some very important facts! For instance, there is nothing there about how Kent was raised by an elephant hunter, who took sympathy on the young boy after he mistakenly shot Kent's fat mom! Missing again is the very truthful bit of common knowledge that I, Scott, have no fingernails or toenails! God just forgot to put them on me, I guess.
Please help us lengthen and correct this Wikipedia entry. We will check up on it from time to time, and when we feel it is completely accurate, we'll go over the updated article together in a future newspost.
Thanks so much everybody!
I can't believe White Ninja is 1000!
-Scott (and Kent in spirit)
Resourceful animals. - February 2, 2010
A while ago in the Wacky Adventures of White Ninja, as you may recall, White Ninja sought answers from an old owl - the wisest bird in the entire animal kingdom. Do you remember? Do you? If not, let us refresh you memory...
The answer White Ninja received folks, was a clear-cut "yes." "Yes, of course I would like some of your taffy," is what the owl answered. Owl's flipping love taffy!
To commemorate this special moment in White Ninja history, we have issued a collector's t-shirt featuring an owl gleefully chomping on a piece of succulent taffy. Look at him! Aww. Look at his cute little hair-feathers sticking up on his head. How adorable.
Believe it or not, this is actually a photograph I took out in the Canadian wilderness. I captured this little guy in his natural habitat, doing what owls do best - eating taffy! I uploaded the image to my computer and added a filter in Photoshop to make it look like a pencil drawing.
Next, we have another shirt for your wearing pleasure. We realize that shirts are cheaper when purchased in packs, so we offer them to you in bundles.
Have you ever wondered what would happen to the world if all the humans suddenly dropped dead? I'll tell you what would happen. What would happen is this: all the beasts of the land, air and sea - all of whom rely heavily on the stewardship of people - would sit around looking lost until they died as well.
The image you are about to see portrays the fantastical idea that animals could somehow survive without the help of human intelligence. What if animals became resourceful and looked after their own needs. Ha! Unlikely! Still, just for fun, here is a t-shirt featuring Sharks using Levels. Now that sharks have figured out how to make things level, the humanless world just might have a fighting chance. If only the rest of the animals could adapt a useful trade.
Perhaps you remember an earlier shirt we made, with Bears using Saws? Clever bears. This is actually the second in a series called Resourceful Animals. Enjoy ;-)
Newsy News News. - September 21, 2009
Well, I know what a lot of you are thinking. You're thinking this: "Man O Man, it's back to school time, and I don't have any t-shirts in which a Wizard is getting his butt royally whipped by a macho man! If only I could have such a shirt mailed to my house, I could wear it on the first day of school so that everyone would finally see that darn Wizard getting what for! That would be rad!"
Sorry for invading your thoughts just there, but that's how we stay on the cutting edge of sales-markety-stuff. You see, we depend on selling t-shirts to live, seeing as how putting a comic on the internet for free doesn't really generate a lot of money. We understand that in order to sell t-shirts, they must be something that people want to wear. And based on our mind-reading from this summer, most of the new fall fashions will incorporate Wizards being punched in the face. Tired of not fitting in? This shirt is guaranteed to make you look just like everyone else! Don't be the only one without a Wizard-getting-beat-on shirt. It's the new black.
These shirts will be up for sale very soon in the white ninja store (Topataco). If shirts don't sell right off the bat, they sometimes get sunk, so don't wait too long, k?
NEW CONTEST! Hooray for prizes! - August 18, 2009
Its been awhile since we gave anything away for free for you guys who do something awesome and cool.
Its also been awhile since we put up any fan art... (like, 8 months).
These are two things that we need to change. So we've decided to create a new contest!
Any fan arts that we receive over the next month will be entered into the contest. All fan arts (as long as they are not terrible) will be put up on the webisite. We will choose from the best and funniest fan arts and select the top 3 who will receive some excellent prizes.
White Ninja doll with a hand-drawn facial expression of your choosing (also signed by Scott and Kent).
White Ninja books Volume 1 and Volume 2, also signed by The Creators.
Two free t-shirts of your choosing.
White Ninja doll - signed and face of your choosing.
White Ninja books Volume 1 and Volume 2, also signed by The Creators.
White Ninja doll - signed and face of your choosing.
Sound pretty good?
The fan art can be anything you want. A drawing, a painting, a sculpture, graffiti, tattoo, video game, movie, whatever... as long as it has something about White Ninja and is awesome.
Deadline for submission is Friday September 30th, 2009. Email your submission to: email@example.com.
Also, if you've submitted something to us over the past few months it will be automatically entered into the contest, but you may want to resend it, just to make sure.
We look forward to seeing what you guys come up with!
White Ninja at Comic-Con - July 28, 2009
Well, another Comic-Con has come and gone. What a exhausting, bizarre, hilarious experience it was... again! Thanks to everyone who came and visited us at Comic-Con this year. It was great meeting you all!
People always ask us what Comic-Con is like. The answer I give is that its impossible to explain - 126,000 people, many dressed as weird comic or movie characters, crammed into a building that's like a skyscraper on its side, with bright flashing lights, loud music, scantily clad women, flash bulbs flashing, and money flying everywhere. It's impossible to explain if you have never been there...
On Thursday night I got an email around midnight from a radio station back home that wanted to interview me at 6am the next morning (!!) about "what Comic-Con is really like". I did my best to explain. You can listen to the interview here:
Is it a good idea to release 4 new t-shirts and a book all at the same time? The answer is, it's a great idea! Probably.
Yes, we have 4 new shirts for your wearing pleasure available in the White Ninja store. Each is pointless and badass in keeping with our theme of pointlessly badass apparel. If you like them buy them soon please, because they are on pre-order right now and if they don't sell, well, they will be discontinued. I love them all and I couldn't bear if one was pulled. The good news is, if you want a bunch of them, you save money when you buy shirt packs (See store for details).
First we have a shirt with an Ape of some sort, wearing a crown of feathers, holding a human spine in one hand and a skull in the other. He is riding a mastodon (so you know this probably isn't taking place in the present day) which is draped in more human remains. Circling the Ape King's mastodon is an entourage of ferocious prehistoric cats. I can't think of anything badder than this. Not today, anyway.
Next we have a shirt that is a different kind of bad. It is called Wilderness Man, and it features a Davy Crocket-like figure surviving off the land. He has a coon-skin hat, a knife, a manly beard, chiseled abs, and he's sporting a wolf-skin for warmth. He wears his pants a little low, like a gangsta, and if you look closely, you may see some space-ship underpants sticking out. Wilderness Man is cooking his dinner on a home-made spit. What is it? Possibly a rabbit? Maybe the raccoon that he made his hat out of. Wilderness man will eat anything to survive. There is evidence around Wilderness Man that he has been cutting down trees with an axe and paddling around in a canoe. Pretty deadly.
Our third shirt on the menu you've had a sneak peak at in a previous newspost. It's green because there's not enough green shirts out there these days. It's also green because it has dinosaurs on it, and dinosaurs are green. Right? Well, if you ever need to take down a brontosaurus in one move, this is how it is done folks. You bite it in the head! It will take a while to die, and it will pick you off the ground and swing you around a bit, but overall, it is a pretty efficient move. That's brontosaurus doesn't stand a chance.
And lastly, we have a shirt with a white bunny on it. Heck-yah! Look at those pink eyes! Must be an albino! Ohhh, it's killer, yes it is.
And lastly-finally, it's the new book! This book starts where the last volume left off. It will have 190 or so of your favorite comics, nearly guaranteed. If not, you have weird taste. It will also contain alternate endings to some of your favorite comics (because sometimes it takes 2 or 3 drafts to come up with the final story). See this example: