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 Amazing NEW merchandise! - April 16, 2009
Is it a good idea to release 4 new t-shirts and a book all at the same time? The answer is, it's a great idea! Probably.
Yes, we have 4 new shirts for your wearing pleasure available in the White Ninja store. Each is pointless and badass in keeping with our theme of pointlessly badass apparel. If you like them buy them soon please, because they are on pre-order right now and if they don't sell, well, they will be discontinued. I love them all and I couldn't bear if one was pulled. The good news is, if you want a bunch of them, you save money when you buy shirt packs (See store for details).
First we have a shirt with an Ape of some sort, wearing a crown of feathers, holding a human spine in one hand and a skull in the other. He is riding a mastodon (so you know this probably isn't taking place in the present day) which is draped in more human remains. Circling the Ape King's mastodon is an entourage of ferocious prehistoric cats. I can't think of anything badder than this. Not today, anyway.
Next we have a shirt that is a different kind of bad. It is called Wilderness Man, and it features a Davy Crocket-like figure surviving off the land. He has a coon-skin hat, a knife, a manly beard, chiseled abs, and he's sporting a wolf-skin for warmth. He wears his pants a little low, like a gangsta, and if you look closely, you may see some space-ship underpants sticking out. Wilderness Man is cooking his dinner on a home-made spit. What is it? Possibly a rabbit? Maybe the raccoon that he made his hat out of. Wilderness man will eat anything to survive. There is evidence around Wilderness Man that he has been cutting down trees with an axe and paddling around in a canoe. Pretty deadly.
Our third shirt on the menu you've had a sneak peak at in a previous newspost. It's green because there's not enough green shirts out there these days. It's also green because it has dinosaurs on it, and dinosaurs are green. Right? Well, if you ever need to take down a brontosaurus in one move, this is how it is done folks. You bite it in the head! It will take a while to die, and it will pick you off the ground and swing you around a bit, but overall, it is a pretty efficient move. That's brontosaurus doesn't stand a chance.
And lastly, we have a shirt with a white bunny on it. Heck-yah! Look at those pink eyes! Must be an albino! Ohhh, it's killer, yes it is.
And lastly-finally, it's the new book! This book starts where the last volume left off. It will have 190 or so of your favorite comics, nearly guaranteed. If not, you have weird taste. It will also contain alternate endings to some of your favorite comics (because sometimes it takes 2 or 3 drafts to come up with the final story). See this example:
David Malki! from Wondermark! and Kelly Vivanco from Patches have also helped us out with some deadly bonus content. Much appreciated.
So long. Hope you like all this new stuff. It took a long time to make.
-Scott
Monkeys - April 8, 2009
Okay everybody, there are some very important things you should know.
Important thing #1
There is something that exists somewhere in the world called a howler monkey. I just learned about these fiends the other day, and I wish I hadn't. They are frightening beasts, and if you have any common sense at all, you will immediately start being scared of them now that I've told you of their existence. Apparently they are the loudest animal in the world. I read it in Guinness.
Here's a little collage I made, so you'll know what they look like in case you happen to run into one. They come in all different colors.
Important thing #2
Here's a comic that made me laugh. Check out especially episode 5.
Hahahahahahahahahah! Hahahahahahahah!
If you don't like it, check out some of the other comics available on the site. The whole site is quite amusing, and it's done by some guys that live nearby us. I hope it's not just a local, isolated sense of humor.
Important thing #3
It's a new shirt!!!
Have you ever wondered how to take down a brontosaurus in one move. The answer is, you bite it in the head! It will take a while to die, but it is a good move nonetheless. This wicked shirt will be available very very soon!
Have a great day everyone.
Hugs and French Kisses,
-Scott
Deadly new shirt. And new WN BOOK. - December 28, 2008
Well Hello. I didn't see you there.
Since you're here, why don't I tell you about a deadly new shirt in our store. Now, deadly is a word that gets thrown around too often and has lost a lot of it's impact. When I say deadly, I mean literally, deadly. As in, there is something on this new shirt that is in the act of dying. Gruesome, I know, but you may think of it as merely a snapshot from nature. Two magnificent stallions, doing whatever it is that stallions do. I believe they try to take each other out by ripping out their competition's throat. Clearly these are two alpha males trying to establish dominance in the picture below:
Is this what Darwin meant by Survival of the Fittest. Yes. Yes, this is exactly what he meant.
Hmmmm, what else is new? I don't really keep up with actual news, so I'll tell you what is going on in my world right now. My dishes are piling up. I haven't done them in 5 days or so. I really should get on those, but I'm busy putting together a new volume of White Ninja comics due to be published in April of 2009. My deadlines are fast approaching, and I still have a lot to do.
The new book will have 208 pages, same as last. It will contain the majority of your favorite comics, beginning where the last volume left off. It will also include some alternate versions of your favorites, just like you would find in the bonus features of your favorite dvd. And David Malki! of Wondermark! has provided us with a short piece of prose about White Ninja in place of a foreword (because forewords are boring). And Kelly Vivanco may or may not be providing some bonus content as well. I'll keep you posted. Let's see, what else? Oh, the book will be called "White Ninja Has a Serious Kiwi Problem", and you can look for the striking green cover in bookstores or our website in the near future.
Well, that's enough news for one day. Everybody have a great day. Listen to some good music. Drink a coffee. Stand in a beam of sunshine coming in your school or office window. If the sunshine highlights dust particles floating in the air, try to catch some on your tongue.
-Scott
 Press Play. White Ninja is back on Cracked. - December 28, 2008
So, after a short delay to get things sorted out between Cracked.com and us, we've decided to give it another shot. Over the next four weeks (and if all goes well then that will invariably be extended), White Ninja comics will again be appearing on Cracked.com every Saturday.
We discovered that although there was some negativity towards the comic from a few out spoken morons on the Cracked.com forums - there was also a massive number of people who were able to access White Ninja for the first time. This is what we had hoped. We've spoken closely with the guys at Cracked.com and agreed to continue with them. Hopefully you all enjoy the extra comic a week.
Keep it real.
-Kent
Cracked on pause. - December 1, 2008
As some of you may have noticed there was no White Ninja comic up at Cracked.com this weekend. There are a few reasons for this. So allow me to explain:
We were approached by Cracked.com (who Scott and I are both big fans of) a few months ago when they sent us an email saying that they thought we were hilarious dudes and loved White Ninja. From there we started working with them to figure out how we could get White Ninja on Cracked.com for more people to see.
Scott and I knew it would be a lot of extra work producing a fourth comic a week, but we hoped that this work would translate into more people getting to see and enjoy White Ninja.
Needless to say, we were fairly disappointed when we saw the negative response that it was getting on the Cracked.com website (although a bunch of loyal White Ninja fans fought a valiant battle on White Ninja's behalf). Not that I really care when a few retards don't like our comic, but I'd much rather have people who actually enjoy the comic see it than someone who just wants pee and poop jokes all the time.
We received a lot of emails from our fans pleading with us to take the comic off of Cracked.com. Here are a couple samples of emails we received:
"Hey guys. I've been a long time reader of whiteninjacomics.com and pretty much am an evangelist in telling other people to read it. One question, though, is why the sudden involvement with Cracked? This is the same thing as that old magazine derivative of MAD, correct? The user comments are breaking my heart. The style of humor and irony are completely over their heads. This obvious because they've recommended other web comics that are complete shit and equal in value to juvenile knock knock jokes (though you guys could probably actually make that work). I think you should just cancel the Cracked strip unless they're actually paying you enough to put up with those forum geeks."
Here is another one:
"I'm sorry to report that some whiney sons-a-{guns} at cracked pretty much hate your comics. Obviously they have no understanding of your high level of humor. However I have noticed you tend to put the butt of your comics on cracked and so I woul appreciate it if you smashed their heads in with the god of all white ninja comics. It should involve abortion, gays, blacks, asians, whites, mexicans, soddomy, cocaine, chuck norris, bears, and jesus."
We wanted to give it an honest try and see what would happen with Cracked.com. Unfortunately, the high workload of doing a fourth comic for people who didn't appreciate it... well, it just seems like a waste of time for us, and it was taking away from what we could do on our own website... and that just seems wrong and dumb to me. As such, we have suspended our association with Cracked.com.
I hope that our fans will understand our reasoning behind this decision.
We will of course be continuing with the three comics per week schedule on WhiteNinjaComics.com. I have also be put up the 13 comics that appeared on Cracked.com. They are WAY funnier on our website... check it out for yourself:
White Ninja smells dog
White Ninja spends the weekend at the lake
White Ninja is a scary giant
White Ninja scores some points
White Ninja is once again oblivious
White Ninja's son is a stud
White Ninja's odor is a problem
White Ninja saves a life
White Ninja at bat
White Ninja and the cheetah
White Ninja gives thanks
White Ninja and the rabid raccoon
White Ninja tries to pee his pants
White Ninja predicts the end
Keep it real.
-Kent
BEARS WITH SAWS! - September 25, 2008
About two years ago I was shown some illustrations that blew my mind so hard I never fully recovered. Since that day I've probably thought about these pictures, oh, at least two to three times a week. They just won't go away.
What could be so amazing that it would stick to the back of your brain for over two years, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you. It was a series of drawings of bears holding hand saws. Some were golfing. Some were fishing. Some were at home. All of them, though, were holding saws.
Wow!
The drawings were done by a guy named Darren, whom I don't know personally, but I've seen him riding his bike around, and I'm pretty sure he lives across the street from me. I'm hoping he reads this so I can give him credit, because he has inspired our latest shirt in the CasaSuperNova store. Darren, if you're there, I just want you to know that your sketches made a difference. I'd also like to get a hold of those sketches so we could post them here for everyone to see. And, you're welcome to a couple of the shirts we're making up. (And don't write us and say you're Darren, because we have ways of knowing if you're lying).
Anyway, every time, and I mean every time, I sit down and try to think of the next rad thing I'd like to wear on a shirt, a little parasite in my brain screams "BEARS WITH SAWS!" Well, I've finally done it. Maybe just to purge this thought from my mind so I can think about other things. I mean it. A friend of mine once asked me if wanted his old television set and I said, "bears with saws."
Here's what the shirt looks like:
Click here to buy.
Stay tuned for my next news report entitled: "Cyclists: Go Away Forever. You Annoy Motorists and Pedestrians. You Are Not Wanted on the Roads Or on the Sidewalks. Congratulations on Saving Gas And Being Fit."
Peace.
-Scott
ComicCon 2008 Re-cap - August 11, 2008
Good day, ladies and gentlepants.
First off, I'd like to start off this newsletter with a minute of silence for Martin Lawrence.
shhhhh.
He's not dead, but he tries really hard to be funny, and I wouldn't want that to go unnoticed.
Next up on the list of stuff you must know about is ComicCon (I still don't know if it's one word or two, and this is my fourth year attending!). Now, if you're not into being a huge nerd all the time, you might ask yourself, "just what is this 'ComicCon' that all these freaky weirdos keep talking about?" Well, the answer to that question is this: It's a big convention in San Diego where people go to spend lots and lots of money on comics and things even vaguely related to comics. And it's basically like a big party, and people dress up, and pants are optional.
The White Ninja table at the con looked like a lemonade stand next to some of the other displays, but somehow people found us and purchased enough stuff to make our trip to california affordable. We shared the booth with Jeph from Questionable Content, Chris from Dr. McNinja, Christian and Pontus from Little Gamers, Randall from XKCD, and David from Wondermark - a very entertaining group of people, I must say. Our display was lacking, though. As you can see, most of the White Ninja displays are made out of masking tape (we didn't have very much money).
This is our super crappy display on Day One. Notice the banner, I thought it looked good all wrinkled up like that.
Then we thought, perhaps we would sell more shirts if we didn't look like a lemonade stand. So, we fashioned this sweet t-shirt display out of tape and cardboard. Brilliant.
The ninja protected our shirts and I made a sweet throne for myself. (Both made of masking tape, naturally.)
And these lucky readers got the display we auctioned off in the end - a ferocious, crouching ninja!
Another thing about ComicCon that rules is that people let us write on their faces with permanent marker! What a bunch of rad dudes!
Chris McNinja liked drawing curly mustaches.
This guy didn't want us to tell him what we were drawing. He said he would figure it out throughout the day. So we drew two earthworms and a giant spider spinning a web from his left ear to his clavicle.
And, of course, we drew pictures for anyone who wanted one. We drew pictures of White Ninja, Dinosaurs, Helicopters, Worms, Kiwis.... all that good stuff. Some people even liked our drawings enough that they let us draw on there expensive belongings - like this guy's macbook!
And, we also drew this awesome picture on some scientist's lab coat.
Later,
-Scott
p.s
Check out the latest Fan Art by this funny dude named Bryan. It tickles me in all the right places. So much, I wish I drew it. Oh well, I'm glad one of us thought of it, Bryan.
Online Shopping now better than ever! - Jun 16, 2008
Do you like shopping on-line? Do you spend countless hours on ebay and amazon? And doesn't it always seem like you can't find that special item you're looking for? That's how it was for me until I found this website: whalesdirect.com. It will change your life forever.
How much would you spend for this beautiful fleece jacket, covered with adorable kittens? Eighty dollars? Certainly I would be prepared to spend as much, but right now at Whales&Friends it's on sale for half of that!
You see, at Whales&Friends, you can pick an animal from a column on the left of the page, and, magically, everything you could ever want to do with that animal will be displayed for purchasing.
For the horse person, it doesn't get any better than this shirt:
Never again be confused at which is the front and which is the back of your shirt. How clever.
But Whales&Friends doesn't just sell clothing. Oh my, no. They also sell jewelry! Check out this magnificent horse ring, only $220.00.
Personally, I'm not into horses much. Wolves on the other hand... Well, here's a collage I made of Wolf items that will be on my Christmas wish list this year:
And lastly, I have compiled some images of my other favorite items from this fabulous website. And hey, guys, in case you couldn't tell, I'm being sarcastic about all this. This stuff sucks.
Later,
-Scott
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